Yep, I heard the same kinda stuff from my Ex during that time, the kids are afraid of him (because I slammed my open hands down on the kitchen table during an argument with her) he stays out late at night and comes home smelling like booze (Uh, those nice new GMC Yukon's and Denali's she enjoys every two years comes from my high paying sales job, yes I have to take clients out regularly) Unfortunately Dad doesn't have many rights at the stage your in(my kids were hating on me at that time, 'Dad, it's all your fault, why did you do this to us?') not until the courts decide the custody schedule. Keep in mind tho, it's her lawyer feeding her all this BS and making the demands, guess what, they ALWAYS demand 100% custody, they attorneys want to maximize the child support (and their income). I didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time for two years I too feel like it was the worst experience of my life. Just keep showing the kids you love them, they'll understand in a few years. Also consider finding a support group to discuss your thoughts and feelings. I still feel like I'm lucky to be alive today because of the support I received from a few key(yet unlikely!) people. Stay strong. It gets better after things are finalized and the attorneys GTFO!
BTW, I reached out to a friend in your area who has had many turbo Mini's. he's got your number, I think he is working on the wife approval part