Funny kill story - Warning: Soccer Vans are involved

[Dave]

You know, when is a kill in a minivan never funny and just serious? Can any minivan owner honestly say he's never been laughing the whole time while beating somebody else?

Anyway, leaving work the other day on my way off. I had to swing in and buy one part. On my way turning onto the road, I see 2 employees pull out (one had a 94-95 Mustang GT the other a Toyota Matrix), I had to wait for them and then I could make my turn. I just fixed my stumble so it was running fairly decent given for only 7psi of boost... So my eyes we're set on messing with the Mustang.

We get on the highway but someone else got between me and the Mustang so I couldnt mess with him there; the only paved section of governmentally owned blacktop that's a legal drag strip, the on-ramp, and someone cuts between us! Well I'll try when I catch up.... nope he got on it and was too far ahead for me to cut in and out of traffic in a 1 1/2 ton brick.

I get off on my exit 2 exits ahead, and who do I see in front of me? Yay! Mustang! ...and Matrix.... Light turns green and Mustang is not having any of my BOV'ing, boosting, romping, debauchery-fun... Howwwwwever.... I leave the Mustang be and go on my way, as I'm accelerating in 1st gear the Matrix is right next to me..... Hmmm, okay doke! Lets show the haters at work how mom's soccer van does. I see the Matrix nose go up and I drop the hammer. Just a quick trounce through 1st as the light changed to red in front of us. Alright, so I held him off, not a real race though... Light turns green and holy hell. This guy goes for it again, so I'm telling myself, this poor sap doesn't know what's about to go down... I smash it, light the tires up, hook and start pulling away... all the while he's trying to just pass me and look like a d*ck and I'm rolling! I finally call it quits at 55 and he passes me....and the look on his face......... I can honestly say, I missed that look! I never got that in a 300+ WHP turbo VW, but in a van, and all the van owners know the look, it happens.... pure anger and shame! so I'm just dying from laughter that this guy was trying so hard and got put back down by a van!

I thought that was it, I was going to post the story the night it happened... thankfully, I did not.....

I went to work yesterday. As my daily routine does, I stop and say hey to my buddy (he actually used to own my dad's woodie van, small world, eh?). He immediately tells me, i have to talk to you. k? He told me the guys around his cubicle we're talking about my van. I ask, well what did they say? He replies, well apparently you raced one of them the other day and beat him?! He goes on, they kept talking about it, saying how it was dumb to turbo a van, who would do that and why.... he said the owner of the Matrix said, all I heard was a turbo spool up some BOV and black smoke, that's just not right!

lol so! The haters will still hate, but show a little love to how they got spanked by a Minivan that Chrysler decided to throw a little turbo on.

Thanks for reading.

[shelbymonster]

haha , way to go !

[RoadWarrior222]

Muhuhahahaaaaa

Having the 3.0, I don't get that sort of fun nearly as often... usually have to wait for the older V6 or misfire powered F-bodies or older V6 stangs, the ones the owners think are fast but are nowhere near. Though you also get the kiddies with fart can and nothing else.

My favorites though, are the ones that floor it at every light, just for the chest beating thing, whether anyone else is racing or not. I'll just sidle up and pretend not to notice them, elbow on the top of the door, fist against my jaw, looking like I'm about to fall asleep, or at least very relaxed... they might not even notice that I've snuck the revs up to 2K and I'm holding it on the other foot... corner of the pedal... light flashes green and I'm gone...

One of two things happens now, okay, maybe three.... the kiddies have stalled before... they are going for it, or they were going to go for it but got caught napping so bad on my quick reaction time that they pretend they weren't... I've probably still got the width of the intersection on them, first on a 3spd from a 2K launch puts down just about everything the tires can handle if you're nice and progressive into the throttle from there... so I'm probably at about 5 lengths ahead as it goes into 2nd...

So about now you can feel the daggers in your back, he's gonna run you down, wear you down, catch up dammit, with a white knuckle grip on the wheel. I know I'm probably screwed at the top of 2nd anyway, but he's either genuinely catching up, or I'm feathering it a little, just making it a nice hard slog to reel me in inch by inch...

So probably just a little before the speeds get highly illegal, and before it goes doggy at the bottom of 3rd gear... I'll have let him creep alongside me.... watching out of the corner of my eye, but still with my elbow on the sill, resting my head on it... then I'll feel the sideways glare as he looks across at me... about then I'll apparently "notice" him and give him the sorta apologetic "Oh were you trying to get by, I didn't realise" sort of face, and ease off the throttle, levelling speed off. At this point their face usually drops, as they think that they were giving it 10/10 and you were hardly paying attention, giving it about 6.... muhahhahaaa... well with that they will probably pull away, to make a point, even if it's "fast enough" for the road, but it's probably as well because I'll have serious problems trying to keep a straight face...

[turbovanman²]

You know, when is a kill in a minivan never funny and just serious? Can any minivan owner honestly say he's never been laughing the whole time while beating somebody else?

Anyway, leaving work the other day on my way off. I had to swing in and buy one part. On my way turning onto the road, I see 2 employees pull out (one had a 94-95 Mustang GT the other a Toyota Matrix), I had to wait for them and then I could make my turn. I just fixed my stumble so it was running fairly decent given for only 7psi of boost... So my eyes we're set on messing with the Mustang.

We get on the highway but someone else got between me and the Mustang so I couldnt mess with him there; the only paved section of governmentally owned blacktop that's a legal drag strip, the on-ramp, and someone cuts between us! Well I'll try when I catch up.... nope he got on it and was too far ahead for me to cut in and out of traffic in a 1 1/2 ton brick.

I get off on my exit 2 exits ahead, and who do I see in front of me? Yay! Mustang! ...and Matrix.... Light turns green and Mustang is not having any of my BOV'ing, boosting, romping, debauchery-fun... Howwwwwever.... I leave the Mustang be and go on my way, as I'm accelerating in 1st gear the Matrix is right next to me..... Hmmm, okay doke! Lets show the haters at work how mom's soccer van does. I see the Matrix nose go up and I drop the hammer. Just a quick trounce through 1st as the light changed to red in front of us. Alright, so I held him off, not a real race though... Light turns green and holy hell. This guy goes for it again, so I'm telling myself, this poor sap doesn't know what's about to go down... I smash it, light the tires up, hook and start pulling away... all the while he's trying to just pass me and look like a d*ck and I'm rolling! I finally call it quits at 55 and he passes me....and the look on his face......... I can honestly say, I missed that look! I never got that in a 300+ WHP turbo VW, but in a van, and all the van owners know the look, it happens.... pure anger and shame! so I'm just dying from laughter that this guy was trying so hard and got put back down by a van!

I thought that was it, I was going to post the story the night it happened... thankfully, I did not.....

Hahahaha. Awesome, I was pissing myself laughing while reading. You have no idea how many times I do this to people,

I went to work yesterday. As my daily routine does, I stop and say hey to my buddy (he actually used to own my dad's woodie van, small world, eh?). He immediately tells me, i have to talk to you. k? He told me the guys around his cubicle we're talking about my van. I ask, well what did they say? He replies, well apparently you raced one of them the other day and beat him?! He goes on, they kept talking about it, saying how it was dumb to turbo a van, who would do that and why.... he said the owner of the Matrix said, all I heard was a turbo spool up some BOV and black smoke, that's just not right!

lol so! The haters will still hate, but show a little love to how they got spanked by a Minivan that Chrysler decided to throw a little turbo on.

Thanks for reading.

Yep, common thing but then usually they go, friggin awesome,

And yes, thank you Dodge for doing this, who knew having a minivan could be this fun,

[Juggy]

I used to roll around with radiant red, in a beat 89 turbo mini he scored for $100. slapped a garrett and intercooled it. i used to laugh my ars off at the people he could find to race and the looks we got! oh the good times.

maybe i should drop my charger setup into a minivan....have more fun lol

[turbovanman²]

maybe i should drop my charger setup into a minivan....have more fun lol

DO IT!

[Dave]

Sooo worth it! I LMAO at your story Roadwarrior!

Right now, I can't wait to get the KS hooked back up, change the oil, and turn the boost up to 14!

[1966 dart wagon]

nice kill, I remember getting those looks in my daytona before it was all redone, priceless, I cant imagine a minivan

[trannybuster]

Great street story, it makes me chuckle everytime I see you guys helmet up at the race track. Im sure everyone says 'ya right, why does he need that' then the hammer drops.

[black86glhs]

I got those looks from a few while in the Omni. The paint is bad and the grill was out. Funny to see a guys jaw on his lap and wide open eyes. Priceless.

[Juggy]

DO IT!

oh you just want to see some more 2.5 G head minivan 1/4mile #s

i ran into an old friend i havent hung out with in years. he is driving an 89 tbi minivan with 5 spd!! lol

trying to talk him into turbo'ing it...but its his and the wife's current DD so maybe its best to stay n/a

[GLHSHELBY]

Muhuhahahaaaaa

Having the 3.0, I don't get that sort of fun nearly as often... usually have to wait for the older V6 or misfire powered F-bodies or older V6 stangs, the ones the owners think are fast but are nowhere near. Though you also get the kiddies with fart can and nothing else.

My favorites though, are the ones that floor it at every light, just for the chest beating thing, whether anyone else is racing or not. I'll just sidle up and pretend not to notice them, elbow on the top of the door, fist against my jaw, looking like I'm about to fall asleep, or at least very relaxed... they might not even notice that I've snuck the revs up to 2K and I'm holding it on the other foot... corner of the pedal... light flashes green and I'm gone...

One of two things happens now, okay, maybe three.... the kiddies have stalled before... they are going for it, or they were going to go for it but got caught napping so bad on my quick reaction time that they pretend they weren't... I've probably still got the width of the intersection on them, first on a 3spd from a 2K launch puts down just about everything the tires can handle if you're nice and progressive into the throttle from there... so I'm probably at about 5 lengths ahead as it goes into 2nd...

So about now you can feel the daggers in your back, he's gonna run you down, wear you down, catch up dammit, with a white knuckle grip on the wheel. I know I'm probably screwed at the top of 2nd anyway, but he's either genuinely catching up, or I'm feathering it a little, just making it a nice hard slog to reel me in inch by inch...

So probably just a little before the speeds get highly illegal, and before it goes doggy at the bottom of 3rd gear... I'll have let him creep alongside me.... watching out of the corner of my eye, but still with my elbow on the sill, resting my head on it... then I'll feel the sideways glare as he looks across at me... about then I'll apparently "notice" him and give him the sorta apologetic "Oh were you trying to get by, I didn't realise" sort of face, and ease off the throttle, levelling speed off. At this point their face usually drops, as they think that they were giving it 10/10 and you were hardly paying attention, giving it about 6.... muhahhahaaa... well with that they will probably pull away, to make a point, even if it's "fast enough" for the road, but it's probably as well because I'll have serious problems trying to keep a straight face...

that is exactly what I do everyday.I`m mainly in my 08 charger 3.5,but believe believes it`s a hemi when I act like that.I usually get into 3-5 races a day and their looks are awesome. Of course I had a amg 63 mercedes totally blow by me 3 days ago,that thing was amazing.

[turbovanman²]

Great street story, it makes me chuckle everytime I see you guys helmet up at the race track. Im sure everyone says 'ya right, why does he need that' then the hammer drops.

Hahahaa, forgot about that one, very true,

oh you just want to see some more 2.5 G head minivan 1/4mile #s

i ran into an old friend i havent hung out with in years. he is driving an 89 tbi minivan with 5 spd!! lol

trying to talk him into turbo'ing it...but its his and the wife's current DD so maybe its best to stay n/a

Maybe, but if done right, then they are just as reliable,

[black86glhs]

Hahahaa, forgot about that one, very true,



Maybe, but if done right, then they are just as reliable,

True, but you know nothing about reliable and turbo van in the same sentence!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

[turbovanman²]

True, but you know nothing about reliable and turbo van in the same sentence!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

Pfffffffft!!

[black86glhs]

Pfffffffft!!

We can feel the love, can't we.

[88shadowpjct]

when i first picked up my van i threw it on the road it ran and drove trans had some noises, bad axles, didnt trust it much. all stock 2.5 TI auto. i turned the boost up to 12-14, put a short ram intake on it i had kickin around from the shadow, pulled the cat out and put a cheap straight through muffler on it. i was DD going to a bar one night and this car saw me and my buddies cruisin in the van then they decide they wanna look cool and take off... wrong! i planted the pedal and we pulled away form them. we get to the next light and my buddy rolls down the window and yells "YOU JUST GOT BEAT BY A MINIVAN!!!" everyone's face was glued to their windows with a confused/pissed off look on their faces hahaha just wait till everyone gets a taste of the van now...... i'll be putting up pictures of the build

[rib256]

A guy at work wanted me to race his turbo Jetta, I said "no, I like you too much". He was confused and I told him either way you lose when racing a minivan. If you win your friends say yeah but it's a minivan, and if you lose, you can never show your face again.

And to the people who ask why, I tell em its factory.

[Dave]

A guy at work wanted me to race his turbo Jetta, I said "no, I like you too much". He was confused and I told him either way you lose when racing a minivan. If you win your friends say yeah but it's a minivan, and if you lose, you can never show your face again.

And to the people who ask why, I tell em its factory.

I really like my dad's explanation on minivans, "You always win a van, if you beat him its hilarious and embarrassing, if you lose to him, well there's not really any room to brag about beating a van."

[turbovanman²]

I really like my dad's explanation on minivans, "You always win a van, if you beat him its hilarious and embarrassing, if you lose to him, well there's not really any room to brag about beating a van."

Good one,